Single momz life

Hi. I'm Adam's mom. This is my journey as a single mother of a toddler. It had its ups and downs, and this is a story about love, loss, fun, failures, sacrifice, and last but not least, work. I am proud of us and of what we have achieved together. And I think Anna and his son Adam make a good team. 

The story goes on. It is also about childhood, his and mine, self care, lessons learned, good practices, what sometimes works and what never does, family life, dating, being single, mental health and all the things in between while raising a kid. No sugarcoating. 

Below are some guidelines I try to follow in our day to day lives. There aren't rules or absolute truths, by far axiomatic. We evolve and our guidelines evolve with us. 

#1 I love my kid to the moon and back. This is the first love story I've been a part of that feels real, unconditional and healthy. That being said, I don't want him always to be around and I stopped feeling guilty about that some time ago.

#2 I treat my kid as he were an adult. But I don't expect him to behave like one yet.

#3 I have lived on this planet for over 30 years. Still the Mother was born at the same time with Adam. This means I'm still learning. It's a learning curve with growing pains. I am not perfect and I'm doing my very best. I know he sees that and doesn't expect or need me or himself to be perfect. Just good enough. I show up every day. 

#4 I love my kid. But raising him isn't fun, at all, isn't easy or full of daily satisfactions, like some afromations seem to indicate. It's hard and full of compromises. He is my priority and I still miss who I was before I had him.

#5 Mothering Adam  isn't defining for who I am. There are many layers to Anna, many versions of myself who aren't in any way connected to Adam. Versions which wait their turn to resurface. 

#6 Raising this kid isn't about toys or things; he grows with, feeds on and relies on connection and healthy attachment. And so do I, so does my well-being and my survival.

#7 It's a good thing to have principles in raising a kid and it's a good thing to stick to your principles in order to achieve the scope you have. But by God, don't stick to your principle to the extent that you forget about your kid. 

#8 I made difficult decisions for his well-being and my sanity, closed some doors and burned some bridges. After that, I never looked back and never stopped to question what if. I keep my eyes on the future and on our objectives. 

#9 My son is important to me. But by far, the most important person in my life is myself. I try to take account of that in most decisions I make for both of us and not forget that self care is important so I don't lose my mind and myself on the way. I want to still exist as an individual outside my relation to my kid. If I want to give my very best to my kid, I try to stay functional and as happy/balanced as possible. I read, write, travel, and sometimes take some time off. No more guilt (theoretically...)

#10 Adam learns a lot from me, and I learn a lot from him. He has taught me so many things, and I am grateful for all of it. It wasn't fun, but he did play a role into me choosing a healthier life for myself. I am thankful for that.

Thank you for being on the blog. My intention is to test my writing and improve my style. I promise to keep true to myself and be honest. This is something I wished I have read years ago, and I do hope it proves useful to all of you. Good luck and respect!